Always
by JamesEdmundWulfricElvisLionel
Summary: The significance of a book falling from the stars, a glance between two people, from a happy moment, or sad; a story may begin or end. Light Yagami, a not-so-ordinary boy finds how hard it is to balance love for L and his hatred for the rest of the world.
1. L

There is an infinitesimal objective you must realize about me, Light Yagami—Kira. Living… has taught me to kill. Running has come to make me aware of how precious standing still is. And deafening silences teach me to crave loud, open streets, filled with people. People who have no idea that I am a murderer—a predator who cannot be found. A predator that leaves no traces, no evidence. Killing from afar, yet watching extremely closely. But it has changed, ever since the day the book fell from the stars and skies above. It used to be so simple; writing down a name, remembering a face, creating their deaths from behind the scenes.

Then he came along. L. Calculating my moves, understanding my motives. He… understands me in a way no one ever could.

It was perfect; uncomplicated. But then… I started to change. The Death Note started to change me. I had asked Ryuk to help me conceal the Death Note, to store it somewhere out of harm's way where someone unwanted would not unearth it. So he had. Inside of me. Inside of my already blackened soul. He had disappeared from Earth and back to the Shinigami Realm.

I was alone… for the first time in an exceedingly extensive time, with nothing but my murderous contemplations running through my skull, like a rabbit being chased by a dog. I am being chased, being followed by L and his crew.

Ever since the Death Note had attached itself to my soul, I have Shinigami eyes… as well as interesting qualities Ryuk had never mentioned. Instead of having a Death Note to plan someone's death, I use my skin. It is as if I, myself, have become a Death Note. It is much more noticeable, intricate.

Light Yagami had checked over his shoulder as he proceeded up a steep hill alongside a bridge. He heaved a petite, portable radio out of his knapsack and tuned it onto the police radio, closing his eyes as the static hummed and a man's voice became clearer.

"Sakura Hikaru, a forty-three year old female has taken hostage of her three year old son, Sakura Natsume at the Preschool on 52nd street. We need back-up, stat." The man intensely hissed into the radio.

Light Yagami then took out his laptop and Googled 'Sakura Hikaru'. A woman came up with Facebook. She lived in this region of Japan and was the same age. Luckily, her profile picture was of herself. He closed his eyes and took out a blue pen and began to write in graceful strokes on his arm, 'Sakura Hikaru.' It only took blissful moments until the police officers announced with both relief and fear that Sakura Hikaru… had been killed by a heart attack.

A vicious, inhuman smirk crossed his porcelain-like features.

"Found you!" A voice rises from the unknown, but before Light could turn to this voice and make them his next target to his Death Body, he became the victim, the captured.

Light awoke with a start; _how do I get out of here? _He could not move a single limb. His arms were tied above his head, chest strapped to something cold and stiff. His legs were chained tightly together, allowing no movement.

His breathing became rapid, his heart beating a mile a minute. Voices were upon him, all around him. His mouth was gagged and his eyes were blindfolded. If only he could see the names and faces…

"Kira is to be condemned to death, December thirty-first!" A man bellowed to Light's right.

"He should be tortured first," a woman screamed in outrage.

"He's done a lot for this world, you must admit," a woman piped in silently.

"Are you fucking serious? HE'S KILLED TWELVE OF MY MEN! KILL THE BASTARD! Let him suffer a thousand deaths! I agree! Torture the vermin," A man, who Light was positive was the President, cried out.

Light swallowed a lump in his throat. _I never thought of being caught… in fact, I've never even thought about being sentenced to death before. I can fight my way out of this… feign innocence, I can do that._

"Ihwanmii!" He tried to choke out, 'it wasn't me', but his throat was so dry, and the gag was flooding his mouth so much, that he could hardly hear himself, let alone anyone else could hear him. Again, he tried to scream 'You've got the wrong man', but only, "uhgtrinmun!"

"Quiet." A voice out of a laptop sang. Its voice was altered so as to mask the speaker. It was L's fake voice ringing out of the laptop. "It is inevitable to say… but Light Yagami is 100% Kira."

Light's heart sank deep inside his chest. So deep that he was surprised it didn't sink into his feet. L had convicted him. Everyone believes L. The man who can turn impossible and unlikely into certainty. What can L not do? He caught Kira. Cloaked, villainous, elusive Kira.

"Light Yagami… Kira is sentenced to death in one week's time. During this period it is only accurate to contain Kira and ensure he does not escape… so we will drug him. The drugs will cease on the execution date, as promised."

He almost puked. In a week, his existence would stop. He wouldn't go to Heaven or hell, guaranteed by Ryuk. He was screwed. No. Fuck being civil. He was so fucked. He was completely, irrevocably fucked. He was going to die. In a week.

_ Oh, no. This can't happen. I was just trying to make a beautiful world._

_ Oh, God. _What was his father going to say? His mother? Sayu… she would be all alone._ Dad might have another heart attack._

_ Who am I kidding? OH FUCK! I'm going to be killed! I really don't give a shit what they think right now. I'm going to die! _

L… he sentenced him. He sent him to his doom. Yet… he couldn't force himself to hate him. In fact… the only person Light could blame for letting L sentence him to death was himself. Light had had the Shinigami eyes… he could have went up to L, looked above his head and stole his name away and written them on his arm. But what did Light do? He ran. Why? Because his heart is weak. Too weak. It couldn't hold more than one emotion for each decision. He chose love when it came to L. He chose love… he chose to protect L from himself. So he ran, clearly informing everyone that the boy in question was Kira the Serial Killer. Light had chosen his friendship over himself and his decision to kill L. His friendship meant more than his safety. But for L, it wasn't the same.

Apparently hate always beats love. Always.


	2. Did You Know

With a painfully dry mouth, and tremendously heavy eyes, Light awoke. Again, body tied so stiffly that he could not move a muscle, twitch a tendon, or flick a finger. It was dark… with an incredibly terrifying heaviness to the atmosphere as they wheeled him on what must be a gurney.

His stomach heaved and basically made him feel as if it were collapsing in on itself. Each miniscule hair on his body rose; he trembled and began breathing rapidly.

_Where am I, at this moment? On the way to the execution? Most likely…_

His body felt like a dead weight. He wished capaciously that he gained one thousand pounds and became so abnormally large that he could simply not be moved.

With a sickeningly sharp turn, his heart lurched out of his chest. Each of the men beside him sounded like thunder, right in his eardrum. _Boom, boom, boom, BANG._

A door burst open, and that's when Light's remaining composure snapped.

Against the gag, he screamed at the top of his lungs. "Somebody help me! You've got the wrong man! I don't want to die! I'm only eighteen! Father! Mother! Sayu!" As the words ripped themselves out of his mouth, and out his throat, they felt like sandpaper, and tasted like sand. He is Kira. The killer, the mad man… someone whose composure cannot be lost. These are his final moments.

He took a deep breath through his nose and closed his eyes. His lips were forced into a smirk. _There is no feigning innocence now… just pleading insanity. _

_ Who am I kidding, though? I've already had my trial. Just keep your head, Light. Pack it all together._

The gurney stopped. Light took a moment… swallowing his fear, his terror. He closed his eyes once more. He was ready. He was completely ready for fate to take him. To take its course.

A click signified a television being turn on. The television had said, "Today, Kira has been executed in the Sodachi State Penitentiary at 11:14 a.m. The police and FBI had not unmasked the face of the serial killer to the public, though. They had kept their bag over top of the killer's face. Kira… will be remembered for a very long time by this world. But not with a loving eye." The news reporter concluded just as the T.V. had flicked off again.

_Wait… Kira had been executed? But I'm still alive…_

A surge of relief and happiness flooded through Light. But it quickly evaporated and a cold, unsettling feeling took its place. Then what would happen to him now? Torture?

But once again, L's voice came out from a laptop. "I assure you, Kira, the god's aren't on your side. Neither are the people in this room, for that matter. It is purely… interest in your gifts that keep you alive. However, you will be detained here for the rest of your sorry days."

_Living… like this… tied in a dark, dank room, lying on a gurney, unable to move. I think I'd rather be dead._

The men escorting him had left, leaving just him and the computer L was communicating from. After a few moments of silence, the door opened swiftly again.

With a metal blindfold covering every inch of his eyes, ensuring every spot was a blind spot, Light could not see who it was.

"So… Kira. We meet again, but this time the curtain has risen, and all the mist has been cleared. Light Yagami… from the very beginning, I was right about you. Now that you have proven from past murders that you can look at a face and know the name, try and kill me. What's wrong? Hurry up. Come on, right now, _kill me_." It was L, leaning towards Light, his hot, sweet smelling breath fluttering across Light's face.

Light sucked in a deep breath full of fear, his eyes wide and his limbs rigid. _Kill L? But since I have gotten the Shinigami eyes, I have not looked at L. _

"What? What are you waiting for, Kira? Come on! Try to kill me. What's the matter? Can't you do it?" He whispered, circling around Light, enjoying the display of the defeated murderer. "Well, Kira. It seems you can't kill me after all." L raised an eyebrow. He had given every excuse for Light to kill him, he had every reason, and he had the power to do it as well. "I guess there _are_ some people you can't kill. You've given me another useful hint."

Light had heard these words before… L had broadcasted them over the televisions… but this time, he was in his face; haunting his every thought, his face dancing within the confinements of Light's mind. L was putting a mental handcuff on Light, wounding him this way and that.

"So let me return the favour and give you a few words of wisdom; our supposed friendship was only a lie to get to know each other to see if you were Kira."

An atom bomb had erupted inside Light's head. His only friend in the entire world who knew him for who he was had hated him, used him, and betrayed him. Light almost wanted to gaze into a mirror, stare himself in the face and hiss at his reflection; _he outsmarted you. You're a worthless fool… and you should have known. There's no one you can trust. No one but me, Kira._

But was that really him talking? Or was it the insanity of his impoverished, lonely soul? The part Kira had controlled, dominated and manipulated… and Light was too broken to stop it. For he was not really a part of his own family, but only a jammed window of what others wanted to see in him. There was something different about Light Yagami, even before he had touched the Death Note and before it had tainted him. But his parents had blinded themselves, avoiding and ignoring the things they didn't want to see in Light, and lavishing in the parts they liked in him. The things they had created inside him. Open wounds of ideas they had shot through him. And Light was that boy who would do anything for people to accept him, to love him. He would do anything to have a world where people were safe and happy, and maybe if he created that world, people would truly love him.

Love him for the young boy with an overpowering sense of right and wrong, with an intense way of achieving his means and clarifying how bad people should be treated.

But the sadness inside his soul, the grief of knowing nobody in this world knew what the real Light Yagami was like, what he thought, what he felt towards the world who had forced him to create a barrier of ice surrounding his disconsolate, disturbed mind. Light Yagami did not fit in the human world so he made his own. The only inhabitants he allowed inside his world was only him, because nobody dared exploring anything but what was on the surface; a genius, pretty boy.

With a father who was never near him, and a mother who only wanted a number one son, Light had begun to know what it was like put up a chivalrous, intelligent prince act for his mother, as well as a strong, supportive son for his father.

All Light had ever wanted was a father who came home. A father who wasn't stressed or scared whenever he was around. All Light ever wanted was a father who accepted him.

The fact that L had understood this other, different, _real_ side of Light made him open his heart out and allowed L entry into Light's own little world. But before Light had even realized it, L had only put in a hologram of himself, a decoy. And with that, the desolate and isolated world of Light Yagami was abolished, blighted. A person's hopes can only fall so many times before they cannot get up again.

"Did you know that I had an interesting conversation with Soichiro Yagami?" L asked conversationally, biting his thumb. "I recorded it without his knowing. I would like for you to listen and listen closely, Kira."

He clicked a button on a tape recorder and they heard a buzz of life, and then Soichiro's voice:

**"L!" Soichiro had called after the fake execution, tears of melancholy dread trailed down his face as he pursued L once the fake Kira had gotten lethal injection. Only Soichiro did not know of Light being still alive and heavily sedated. "I must tell you something…. Something very important that I should have told Light long ago, but never did."**

** Of course hearing something so private exit Soichiro's mouth, L had to record it. Perhaps this would be something that would help him better understand his enslaved murderer. **

** L had put down the plate of strawberry cake he had only half eaten, to give Soichiro his full attention. "Yes?"**

** "I must tell you…" Soichiro had fiddled with his hands and looked desperately at L. "Light Yagami… isn't even my biological son."**


	3. Gods of Death

_**Hello dear readers… I don't own Death Note. Also… I was busy with school, so I could not write for some time. Please enjoy my latest chapter and forgive me for the little wait. Furthermore, I changed Light a little bit to be short and skinny because I wanted him to be the Uke in this scenario. Mwhahaha. But don't worry. I won't write anything too graphic on account of my innocence… In which I would like to keep! But there will be LOTS of romance coming up soon, so sit tight :]. Please review. It makes me feel all warm inside that people actually care! 3! Warning: It's starting to turn from a dark fan fic, to a darker fan fic Well, please continue to read Always. **_

_**Yours truly, JEWEL.**_

L had strolled from the room, gazing serenely in front of him as he meandered through the hallway and up the staircase, nibbling his thumb.

The reaction of Light wasn't what he expected, not in the least bit. He had guessed Light would thrash around savagely, but instead, he remained emotionless; stationary. This much had caused certain… curiosity inside L, sparking many theories and questions. Ones that could not remain unanswered.

Was Light too shocked for a reaction? Did he think Soichiro was just spouting non-sense? Did he think L was lying? Was he screwing around with Light's head to get a rise out of him as well as a certain manifesting grip over him? Yes… L _was_ trying to get under Light's skin; find out his background, his story… his curse that enables him to kill…

Or perhaps Light had already guessed he was different. Perhaps he had known all along that he was too out of the ordinary to have such a plain father and mother for his parents.

But the top question was; who _is_ Light's biological father? But this just developed a whole strand more of questions which remained unanswered. Did he have the same murderous, homicidal curses as Light had?

L decided finally to take a nice old visit to the house of the Yagami's to officially ask Sachiko who Light's father was… and furthermore, if Light was even her biological son. It seemed much more reasonable for Sachiko to be Light's mother because he inevitably looks slightly like her. But now that the evidence was on the table, L had concluded that Light and Soichiro appeared to have nothing genetically in common.

Soichiro was tall and muscled while Light was fairly short—shorter than L, himself—and very scrawny. Soichiro also had an extremely masculine, ordinary face, while Light was, unavoidably, a little pretty-boy.

When L had wandered onto the lawn of Sachiko Yagami, he narrowed his intensely vast eyes and curled his bare toes in the long, unkempt grass. The thing Soichiro had told Sayu, Sachiko and to whoever else it may have concerned, Light Yagami, age nineteen, committed suicide. A letter was formed by L, himself, and the police had claimed that the body of the sociable genius… was unfound. Sachiko would have never been the same if she had heard her perfect, beloved, first born son had, in fact, been caught and proven as the worldwide killer—Kira.

L pinched the golden, brass door knocker between his fingers and slammed it against the door about half a million times before Sayu opened it, eyes red, Kleenex in hand. The off-white door swung open at full speed, in both annoyance and anger.

She stared at the man, slouched over, gnawing his thumb like a baby, and barefoot. What a sight for sore eyes. A freak show. She sniffled, "May I help you with something?" Her tone had a slight bite to it, implying for him to go away.

L had noted the tone and leaned towards her, trying to do so in a pleasant manner. Although, it came off as quite scary. She backed up and wrinkled her nose.

"Hello… my name is Ryuzaki! You must be Sayu." He stepped in the house, not waiting for permission and stared at her expectantly with his big black eyes. "Is your mother around? I have something important to discuss with her."

Sayu was utterly irritated, upset and deeply distressed. "_Excuse me for being rude, sir, but my family and I are NOT tolerating guests or—"_

At that moment, Sachiko emerged from her bedroom on the second floor; face lifeless, eyes excruciatingly sad.

"Ah, Mrs. Yagami," L's lips turned up slightly, again, nibbling his thumb. "As a friend of your husbands, and a former friend of Light's, I think it is highly obligatory that we speak." L had assessed that the small light flicker in her eyes meant that he had struck a chord, said the right thing. L's hand went deep inside his pocket and clicked the tape recorders red recording button.

She nodded once, waving Sayu off with a shaky, slim, and pale hand. Obviously she was malnourished and not taking care of herself. Sayu had narrowed her eyes at L, but otherwise did as she was told.

Sachiko's black hair was longer than usual, and knotted to no end. She looked tremendously bedraggled with her baggy track pants and long sleeved black shirt. She was a mess. The 'death' of Light Yagami had destroyed the appearance and stability of Sachiko. Her pale, sunken face and her hollow eyes gazed at L. She beckoned him forward into the kitchen as she sat down in one of the chairs, resting her head atop her arm, eyes drifting to the dirty mugs in front of her, away from L.

L glanced around him at the cupboards off hinges, and dishevelled countertops. The Yagami's were in worse condition than he had thought… He sat on one of the chairs, pulling his knees to his chest, and putting his hands on his kneecaps. "My name is Ryuzaki. I've heard from Soichiro that Light Yagami was not his biological son. Is that true?" He asked, getting directly to the point of the visit.

Sachiko's eyes snapped up to L's in an instant. She leaned back in her chair, taking in a deep breath, as if it would be her last. "Correct," her face twisted, finding it absolutely difficult to say his name, to rip it out of her throat. "Light… is my son… but not his."

L raised an eyebrow, giving her a questioning air, practically forcing her to elaborate.

"We were newlyweds… about seven months after our marriage. He just got his promotion to become a detective. He told me to meet him at this bar in Aoyama. I waited for him for maybe a few hours," her face began to grow sombre as her eyes trailed from his and down to the tabletop once again. "He called and told me a crime scene had popped up and that they needed all the men on the job. So… I felt annoyed and angry at myself for feeling a new found hatred for his job. It wasn't the first time he stood me up. So I started drinking." Her eyes grew further and further away as she fiddled with her fingers.

"The bartender put a piece of paper and a drink in front of me and said it was from the man in the corner." Her violently shaky fingers stopped, her eyes slowly gazed back at L. "I had picked up the piece of paper to see a number on it. But the number wasn't even a number. It was 000-000-0001, so I thought it was a joke."

L's eyes brightened in curiosity. What a strange combination. Zeroes and one number one. Was there a meaning? Or was it just a random one?

"I looked over… to see the handsomest man I have ever seen in my life. Brown hair, brown almond eyes… Almost exactly what Light looks like. Light has my height… and my small, feminine nose. Otherwise… they're identical." She gave a sad smile and began twiddling her thumbs again. "Light's father's name was Gin Hikagimis…" She glanced at L to see what his reaction was. She continued when she saw he was emotionless.

He was feeling many emotions at the moment. Interest, disgust, satisfaction, inquiry… he wanted to explode and ask questions to Sachiko, but he let her continue.

"We talked for a while… and he was complimenting me and making me feel good in every way. I didn't realize he was just trying to seduce me… but the worst part was… he knew I was married. He even complimented on my wedding ring. So we slept together." She gave a small laugh of regret and looked up at him. "It was the biggest succession and failure of my whole life. When I woke up, he was gone. I was alone… and I had to tell my husband."

She stood, suddenly, and walked over to a drawer, leaning against the countertop. "After a few months of us being separated, he decided to stay together and help me raise the baby as his own. The child that was not his, but Gin's. I haven't seen Gin in over twenty years."

L nibbled his thumb and asked as respectively as he could. "Do you still have the piece of paper with the phone number?"

Sachiko opened the drawer and pulled out a recipe book. She ripped out a fake page glued to the cover and held out a plastic baggy with the piece of ripped paper.

_Maybe I can get some fingerprints off this and track down Light's father._ L's eyes glazed over, immediately going into brainstorm mode. His enormous eyes were staring down Sachiko so intensely, but it seemed as if she were in a far off land. Her exceptionally sallow face was staring off into space, tears in her eyes as she murmured over and over again. "I don't understand… Light… my beautiful Light…."

L stared at the place she was looking at to reveal nothing but the fridge with the overturned cookie jar above it.

She looked back at him, her face expressionless and her eyes unfocused. "Well… if that's all you want…"

"Do you know any abilities Light's biological father had? Anything abnormal?" L tried to sound as casual as humanly possible, but asking if Light's real father could kill people without difficultly… was slightly complex all on its own.

Sachiko looked at him directly in the eye, her face tensing up in exasperation. "No. _I told you, I don't remember!_ I don't want to remember Gin Hikagimis! I don't want to remember my betrayal, my indecency, my adultery! _Now that Light is dead, I feel part of myself happy that Light, the accident child, the proof of that night, is gone. My hands have been washed. That child whose head was a mystery, was freakish, is now gone!_"

She was screaming at L, not caring who heard, in fact, _wanting _to be heard by everyone. "Light, who was as beautiful as his father, his real father, maybe _that's_ why I kept him. I didn't like Light for being Light, I liked him for looking like Gin. The man who made me wake, alone. _The man that ruined my marriage and had made me rotten to the core._ Maybe that's the reason I'm sad. The guiltiness of loving a child for his appearance—for someone else's appearance that he resembles, and not for him being himself."

L blinked his eyes in utter astonishment. When had Sachiko Yagami become such… a monster? A grudge holder? She looked so sweet when he had watched them through surveillance cameras. Was that an act? Was everything a lie? It seems there was always one better actor than Light Yagami, and that was his own mother. It seems as if that was one of the few things Light had inherited from her. _The apple doesn't far from the tree. I wonder if it's the same for his father…._

The rage in her eyes didn't fade but only grew, swelling inside her every thought, every limb. "Or maybe, I feel guilty because Light was tortured, trying so hard to get Soichiro and I's love and affection. I _liked _seeing that face… the face he and his father share… _intolerably_ _miserable_."

L was mildly amused and interested in this fantastic explosion Sachiko had presented, yet slightly disgusted in how selfish she could be… L had convinced himself he wouldn't feel sorry for Light, and that he never would. But uncovering the truth of Light Yagami… came a little closer to being out in the open. Completely solved. Or maybe it was just slipping away entirely….

Sachiko was looking off into a different area of the room, eyes unfocused, yet focused at the same time. "If that's all you want…please leave. And _never _come back here again." It seemed she had come back to her senses. Her voice was cracking here and there, and tears began to erupt from her eyes.

L dipped his head, clutched the plastic bag with the piece of paper in it and clicked the stop button on his tape recorder without her noticing. "Thank you for all the information, Mrs. Yagami. I'm sure it will be very… useful."

As he flew out the kitchen and passed the staircase, he glanced at Sayu, sitting in secrecy. Her face was strewn with tears, her mouth was slightly parted. Apparently she heard something she shouldn't have.

"L…ight… isn't my whole brother?" She croaked out at him.

He blinked for a moment, composing a small speech he could say when Sachiko came from behind him. As soon as she had entered, Sayu bolted up the stairs. Sachiko took no notice of this, and dragged herself up the stairs.

L let himself out and blinked at the bright sun. He walked on the hot pavement, glancing once more at the small, now gloomy, house. He peeked downward, deep in thought as his bare feet touched a crumpled up paper blowing in the wind. He watched it gently blow around in the breeze with the other trash that littered the ground. _This world is really going to the dogs,_ he evaluated after thinking about all the murderers and selfish people in this world.

His feet burned as he continued to strut around the walkway, a car pulling up to his left side.

"Ryuzaki," the driver had rolled down the window.

"Not now, Watari…" He refused the old man's car and peered at the plastic baggy that he was holding daintily with his index finger and thumb. "I need to do a bit of thinking…"

"I will wait here." Watari had dipped his head and parked the car, throwing a pair of sneakers towards L.

L slipped them on, absentmindedly, as he stumbled towards a small, desolate park. He sat down in his usual sitting position, peering, concentrated, at the slip of paper. Slowly, hesitantly, he reached in the baggy and pulled out the paper.

He blinked at it, again and again, turning it over and over; nothing uncommon about it. Just a piece of white parchment. A very expensive looking piece of parchment indeed.

"Hello, L, Hideki Ryuuga, Ryuzaki, Eraldo Coil, and Deneuve. By which alias would you like me to call you, I wonder? I only have one."

L slowly turned, eyes wide, as two very tall figures stand behind him. One of the two was a tall bluish figure with bulging red eyes, jagged teeth and black lips. From his ear, hung a heart earring and he was wearing all black, matching his spiky black hair.

The other figure was cloaked in black, bigger than the blue _thing_, yet still tall. "This is Ryuk, my accomplice."

L gaped, terrified, struck with such a deep horror, that he could not scream. "What… are you?" He finally managed to choke out after falling off the bench.

"We are Gods of Death," The cloaked figure said softly, as if it was a seductive whisper, or a greeting to a long lost friend. "And I am their King." His hands were disturbingly pale, almost glowing in a dark radiance. His eyes were black around the pupil and a blood red on the outside. His face was sunken and boney, with an evil and menacing look. His body was covered in a flowing, black and ripped material.

His body began transforming rapidly until he was wearing dress pants and a white, button up shirt. He was still pale, but in a human skin tone. His grin was electrifying, his face was divine… his face… _his face! _There was something about his face…. "The Shinigami King. Alias: Gin Hikagimis."


	4. Love Apples?

**A/N: Hey There! I am sick. Sob. I am coughing and it's like pneumonia. Not really. But it feels like it. Reviews and PMs are appreciated! **

**I don't own Death Note. Please enjoy!**

**Ps. I don't know how to start this chapter. I believe this is called writers block. Or: I-have-so-much-to-say-and-explain-I'm-going-to-explode block. Tee hee. GGAAAH. I am surprised no one has mentioned the chapter titles spelling "L did you know Gods of Death love apples?" Well, now you do. Yay! I've heard other versions say, 'L do you know? Gods of Death only eat apples." I just used the one said in the manga. However, I have no idea what the other chapters from here on out are going to say…**

* * *

><p>"The Shinigami King. Alias: Gin Hikagimis."<p>

_That's _what it was. His face. It was so undeniably similar to Light's that it was unnerving. The pale, handsome face, the brown eyes; everything fit but the nose. But just moments ago, this man was a large monster. A Shinigami King… This was so unnatural… The most twisted thing L had ever come across. To think that Light's message to L about Shinigami loving apples… he _knew_. _Well, of course he knows. He is a half Shinigami._ But… what if Light _didn't_ know—

A small girl ran along the pathway in front of the bench, interrupting L's train of thought. She took one swift glance at L and his fright-filled face and frolicked away. She had obviously been a little anxious about the scary panda eyed man staring at her, then glancing at an open space over and over again. Nothing was there. Not to her. Not to any other citizens who happened to walk into the empty, scant park on this Sunday afternoon.

"She didn't see you?" He asked in a hush voice, looking between Ryuk and Gin.

"Only people who have touched a page or piece of a Death Note, or the whole Death Note can see us. But that Death Note will only allow you to only see one God of Death. A Death Note is a notebook only Shinigami have. We use it to kill humans and increase our living years. If one of our Death Notes falls into the human realm, then they can use the Death Note to kill other humans, near or far. However, this will not extend their life. One must know the face and real name of a person to kill them with the Death Note. If a human makes a deal with the God of Death whose Death Note they are using, they can see the name of the person they wish to kill, as well as their lifespan. Though… the human who makes the deal will lose half of their own lifespan." Gin's grin only grew as L's eyes widened.

This made sense. Light could kill people, no matter where they were, by using a Death Note. He had 'Shinigami' eyes, but only just recently. Had he only just become aware he was half Shinigami?

"That slip of paper you are holding was once Sachiko Yagami's," Gin continued as Ryuk pulled an apple out of one of his pockets. Gin followed L's eyes, noticing he was gawking at Ryuk. "Ignore him. He loves apples. Far too much. Most Shinigami love apples." With a swift glare, Ryuk gobbled the apple completely and muttered, 'my apologies, your highness,' in a rather snarky tone.

_Shinigami… love apples? _L pondered distractedly, _I wonder why that may be._

"The reason you can see me is because of that slip of paper. It was from my Death Note. Before I let my soul consume it. You see, only a Shinigami King or Prince can absorb a Death Note. Light has this power. Light is my heir."

L began unconsciously nibbling his thumb, taking in all this exasperating information. Light… is the Shinigami Prince. This was not on L's expectation list. "Why can I see you?" He asked of Ryuk, turning his penetrating gaze on the bluish Shinigami.

"When you were walking barefoot in the street after visiting Light's house, I rolled a piece of Death Note onto your foot." Ryuk's wide, sharp, toothy grin spread across his face as comprehension leapt into L's eyes.

"Ah. I see." L blinked a few times and then turned back to Gin, eager to hear as much information as possible.

"As the Shinigami King, I am allowed to take on any form I want, whenever I want. Also, I may let _anyone _see me, at _anytime _I wish." Gin's body morphed from Gin, to Sachiko Yagami, to Light, to L and then back to Gin. "Light will be able to do this once he realizes he is the Shinigami heir."

"That means he doesn't know?" L inquired, delighted to hear that Light did not know of this dangerous bit of information.

"No. All he knows is that Soichiro Yagami is not his biological father, to which he figured out a long while ago. Smart boy," Gin gloated, the corner of his mouth turned up in a bitter, daunting smirk.

Ryuk chuckled and added in, "He was smart, until he got caught."

L could not help but to smile faintly behind his thumb. "What else does Light not know?"

"Where to begin?" Gin gazed placidly at L, his eyes roaming around L's face in a way that made him uncomfortable and vulnerable.

"Start from the beginning. What is important that I must know about Light?" L finally asked, licking his lips in preparation. Nothing could really shock him at this late in the game.

"Light is in love with you."

Except that. "I beg your pardon?" L's eyes widened as he glanced from the sniggering Ryuk, to the beaming Gin.

"He doesn't know it yet, but he does love you." Gin said in a feather light voice. "The feelings are foreign to him, but you are the only human alive he would _never _kill and do anything to protect. He mistakes his feelings, thinking the love he has for you is just 'friendship'. Light is unfamiliar with any and all types of love because he was always deprived of it. Light was suffocated… being someone his family wanted him to be. None of them knew the real him… so he suffered being the boy they wanted him to be. They love the only part of him they could see, which was a picture they had painted."

L had slowly taken his thumb out of his mouth, his eyebrows slightly pulled together as he took in the enlightening information.

"Light Yagami is the personality his parents created. His human side. Kira is all the fear and anger he has kept locked away, finally unleashed. His Shinigami Prince side." Gin stepped slightly closer to L. "Now… I have a very special offer to give you."

_Fat chance,_ L thought to himself while staring at Gin sceptically. "I would never give you half of my life—"

Gin gave an enchanted laugh, "Dear boy, I'm giving you something for your happiness as well as my son's."

Ryuk's smile widened as he gazed at L expectantly.

"It won't hurt you… and, in fact, you'll never be able to lose Light in case an unfortunate occasion comes where he… escapes." There was a hint of a foreboding manner to his tone.

L's head became very light; he gripped his face and swayed uneasily, back and forth. It felt like he had been drugged, or he had a brain freeze. A strong numbing which slowly faded. It almost felt like a GPS was ingrained inside his head. He _knew_ exactly where to find Light. Even when he focused, he could see Light in his head… slowly breathing, pulling on his binds without any success. Why could this happen? Why did he know _exactly_ how to get to the underground building in forty-six minutes and thirty two seconds by car? How could he _see_ Light? Know exactly what he was doing?

"What… is this?" He asked, continuing to clutch his head.

"I call it the Tracker. You can find him. Know how to get to him. Know how long it would take. Anywhere in the world, you can see what he is doing if you focus on him. Unfortunately, for you, this power is _not_ one sided." Gin smirked and chuckled with Ryuk. "He can sense you, if you ever follow him. Although, it's up to him how to use the power, and even really know about it."

"Why are you doing this? Why are you telling all of this information to someone who can use it against your son? I am your son's greatest enemy… yet, you're helping me?" L narrowed his large eyes at Gin Hikagimis.

"Because you are the only one who can help save him from dying and ending up in an eternity of nothingness."

"I have no intention of helping a murderer. I am Justice." L said in a strong, confident voice.

"You don't now, but you will." Gin smiled at L's persistence and whispered to him. "A killer must save a soul for all the right reasons, and not the wrong. Or else their soul will have no hope of being saved, themselves. And in the darkness of their own soul, they will be lost forever. He must let his Shinigami half dominate his soul. I hope to see you very soon, L."

And in that deadly silence, L found he was alone.


	5. Fallen

**A/N Dear Readers, I am glad you all liked chapter three. (And hopefully chapter four). Well, at least I hope you did. I have a crazy cold right now, so I decided to take the day off school to write to you all. Please Enjoy. **

**I don't own Death Note.**

_Some things… should just be left unsaid. Some emotions just aren't meant to be toyed with._

_But as I lay here, listening to the sounds of my breathing, listening to silence… and fear—things that cannot be heard unless there is nothing else to take note of—I feel that maybe just some things are meant to be. I am Light Yagami. I know I was meant to be, but all the proof points against it. Sometimes I even doubt myself. That is just human, isn't it? _

_But I cannot lose to myself just yet. There is something worse… coming. Coming. Something that cannot be seen, heard, or touched. Something lurking, waiting for those not expecting it. But I sense it. I do not fear it. I am waiting._

_Anticipation. Fear. This is humanity. I am not a God._

_I am… Fallen…_

_Something is coming. Or maybe something is going. _


	6. From Branches

**A/N: BOOYAH! I wrote it. Thanks for being patient. Got a lot of stuff on my back and you probably don't care. Have fun reading. Hope you like it. 3 Don't own Death Note.**

Time. Time is the enemy at hand. The seconds should go 'tick… tick… tick'. But instead, the steady rhythm has become diseased. Ill. False. Untrue!

_Tick…_ No_. Go faster. Why is it so loud? Why are these seconds like sirens of warning? Tock…_ _Drive a knife through my temple. A chain saw to my neck. _Light had thought to himself within the confines of the dark room. Any exquisitely painful death would be superb if it would just…_ happen. _But time stands still in this room.

_As of yesterday, no—the day before? How long has it been since the capture? Since the… I daresay…arrest. I cannot stand that fucking word. Well, whatever the case may be… My life has ended since I woke in this room. This stuffy, no good, dark, ticking room. _

His sore mouth was dry and tasteless because of the gag. He couldn't swallow well, or even think about ripping off his useless tongue. Drowning in his own blood. The thought… seduced him. It played around the contours of his dark mind.

The door had banged open with an undesirable WHUMP! But to Light, that sweetly, loud, shocking sound was the noise of freedom. Getting outside that door, however, was impossible, unlikely, and sure as hell was a branch that even the optimists couldn't reach.

Such a flimsy, little, feeble branch… Once one reaches out, clings their unsure hand around it… They'll soon realize, that flying feeling isn't freedom, isn't sanctuary. You're falling to your death.

"Bathroom break," the guard grunted again, unhinging all the straps and cuffs on Light. "Why you even have bathroom breaks is a mystery. If I were the boss," The man's fat, hefty cheeks peeled into a smile which Light could not thankfully see, "I'd let you shit yourself."

_If I could just—This fucking blindfold—I will kill this mother fuc—_

"That's enough, 'Bob'." _L. High and mighty, beautiful and clever, genius and cunning! L. Little fucking… Little fucking… _There were truly no words inside Light's dark heart in which he could cast at L. For he hadn't exactly realized his love for him. His true love. He had disguised it as friendship, but no one can stay masked forever. Not even the great and powerful Kira.

_Overachiever. That's what that bastard is. _

They had resulted into calling all the guards a variant of Bob. Bobby. Bobby Joe. Childish, yes. But exceptionally effective. Even Light had tried distinguishing who was Bob and who was Bobbers. But… they switched every day.

He was truly thankful that he had showers daily, more than enough bathroom visits, three meals—though he was pretty sure people spat in his food—and clean clothes. But only one thing bothered him. L was _everywhere_. It unnerved him. He couldn't sleep. L was _always, ALWAYS _watching. Fear spread through Light, self-consciousness, and even… a blush whenever he talked.

_It's simply childish. Inane! Why do I have these moments where my heart flutters fast? I am… intimidated by L? God, that must be it. Simply ridiculous. He may have won the battle. But I, sure as hell, will win this war. _

_ Mark my words, L. You are dead._

Although Light Yagami was a killer, even if he planned on killing everyone in the building… The only person who he dare not kill, the only person he has ever spared… his weakness… he would never kill L.

_Tomorrow, for sure…. I am breaking out. I have a plan. _

_Hello world. Kira is back. And he has a new found confidence. _


End file.
